Master of None

Am I just spinning my wheels and wasting time? I've been told that I am a jack of all trades, which for the longest time, I thought might be a good thing. But the 'master of none' aspect is really starting to become clear. I'm not outstanding at anything. I'm somewhere between pretty good at a couple of things, and okay at a lot of things. However, I've divided my time into so many sections, that I haven't allowed myself to truly master anything. 

I'll just take the last 12 months as an example. I've studied computer programming, data science, wood burning, and writing short stories. For every hour I spend on one pursuit, I rob the developmental capacity of yet another possible skill. 

It's a curse. I want to make a dozen clones of myself, set them off on one task, and then load their knowledge into my brain. But that's not an option yet. So, I read, dabble, practice, and so on. There's never going to be enough time and I can't help but feel that I'm constantly wasting mine. 

Just looking at computer science, I've studied  both Python and R. I know that I need to select one path and stay on it, but I can't help but wander. 

i don't remember much from high school

aside from the d***s
   chasing women
         lack of sleep

but i do recall
          learing about


  Civil War
             Minute Men

Always clothed
            Bags packed
      Ready to go


fighting in a war
                         (They'd probably never understand)

The BloodDeath


--------------------------never appealed to me

It was more of the
      Ability  to   continually   be         embracing
                                                   s p o n t i n a e t y

(no subject)

i drank the tears

of a

sickly angel

and glimpsed upon

a world in which

everyone had a chance

a magical place

where all were free

to laugh sing

cry and dance

regret was a word

they had to research

i never came first

we were all welcomed

the passengers

had nothing

negative to say

about anyone

or anyplace

especially those

locations to which

they had not yet visited

(no subject)

i need another drink
yet there's nothing left
save the vomit in the sink

so i think
that perhaps

i should call a cab

phone a taxi

to take me
away from this place

called right now

(no subject)

but yes of course
my stories
are dark and
a bit remorse

but that is not my fault

i did not get to vote for
my name
or place of birth

i cannot apologize if what i
have to say
or what life put me through
is too much for you

i cannot undo what
i had to go through

despite what you may think
i am more than happy
to be alive

i'm secretly dancing inside



(no subject)

there comes a time
in life

where we become

so sick of
that we do things

that don't even
make sense
like put splinters
into our wrists

  • Current Mood
    enraged enraged

(no subject)

at the edge of a broken bottle
we discover mismatched goals

misguided intentions

desires unmet


depleted bank accounts

spit spit spit it out

it's warm and flat
but they'll consume it
just the same

dancing slantedly
for a host of
blurry guests

we do our best
even if it's only
second or third best

(no subject)

Sometimes it rains
in the strangest of places

        (like my living room)

she said nothing
before taking a shower

i kissed the back of her neck
while she fell asleep