dogsofeternity

I started working as a substitute teacher yesterday.

I'd be more wordy, but I'm super exhausted and on the verge of collapsing.

1st grade yesterday. Holiday Heights. about 19 children. All of them quite funny. And...exhausting. They had trouble with my last name. One girl called me Mr. Gravy and it stuck. For the rest of the day I was known as Mr. Gravy.

At one point, a bee was noticed and they began to freak out. I managed to calm them down and explain that the bee was only looking for flowers to pollinate. One little creature explained "Go away bee! There's no pollen in here!"

I laughed.

Another equally smart child suggested that I open a window. (Hmm..why didn't I think of that? I thought.)

So I did. I had to use a large dry erase board to coerce the bee into leaving, but it went well, and he left. The children clapped afterwards.

Today was just as tiring but much different. West Birdville Elementary. 5th grade. 18 children, all of whom were bi-lingual. It was interesting because a part of the class was actually in Spanish and well, my Spanish isn't that good. But it worked out.

About every hour or so they tried to convince me that it was time for recess.

Towards the end of the day, one of the other teachers or perhaps a vp came by and asked how they were behaving. I explained the repeated recess requests and he asked if I thought that they deserved it. They did, and so we all poured outside. It was a beautiful breezy fall day. Bright blue sky and plenty of sunshine. What a way to end a day.

Chemistry can often be a forgiving science. Regardless, crying over Tchaikovsky, I covered her with a blanket. She requested that the morning find me free of regret. I lied and told her that it would. Indeed, we danced endlessly around a pondless cloud, our legs never tiring. We screamed skyward and dripped a few drops of blood from our eyes. Chemistry can be a real bitch.

one hour and forty-six minutes...

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viewing the world on a molecular level
neurons shifting like riptides
i miss seeing you

down here in a sub-atomic community
i no longer need to breathe
or believe

i have seen

It was Tuesday, September 15th at 1:58 in the morning. I went to check my gmail for the 50th time in the last few days........

"Hi,

Your test was satisfactory, with some solid and thorough answers. You have of course achieved a passing grade on the test and have therefore passed the course!"


And now, I am certified to teach English as a second language.

If all goes the way that I want it to, I will be living in Japan by this time next year.

:)

disembodied day dream
seems more like reality to me

four hours of sleep last night

three this time around


wouldn't be so bad if i had a car

money

somewhere to go

at least it is raining

i'm a fool
who might see tomorrow

delightfully alive

waiting to die
one day at a time

Our children hunt for blood, fresh from the drip...drop...they don't stop.

I know that I probably should have died,
waiting, hiding underneath that bed all night.

remember that time we walked home in rain

drunk as fuck

on who knows what?

yeah, well, neither do i

will


i


no


blue


dream

calling out


the knees are bruised


my


proud


not

be

should


fuck

i'd like to cry from deep withinside, yet i pretend to hide, from that venomous world, lurking outside



i'm

about

t


o

j

i
mpkapsdfja sklfjaslj

i do not recall being kidnapped as a child, but i recall the nights, long and wild, a child of five, barely alive, holes in my shoes, lights, long since turned off.....i remember bleeding.

i remember screaming.

fuck all of those who ignored and disregarded what i had to protest. i hope that their lives are filled with regret.

fuckers.

here i am.

swallowing tomorrow before it has the chance to arrive....
i'm breathing.


yet barely alive.

cough.

laugh.

fall over in a pool of.................................................

i want to, eve of yes and there we were, broken, backwards, spinning like retards in the sun.

can we remember tomorrow before it ever comes?

can we run from that which we are, eternally?

down on your knees, begging forgiveness for that which you have not yet done

open canvas

clean slate

virgin

waiting


for you

I volunteered for Saturday but I am babysitting. Does that make me an asshole? Memory fading. Lost and forgotten.

I can pretend that I am young again.

Dancing under the sun and screaming under the cover of the rain.

As children, we were all insane.

i wish that
i had noticed
that the fish
upon your arm
was upside down
and dead